


Apnoea

by sunaddicted



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Drabble, Family Drama, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Future Fic, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 07:39:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17783309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunaddicted/pseuds/sunaddicted
Summary: "I made a mistake""It's not one I can forgive you"





	Apnoea

**Author's Note:**

> I'm obviously posting angst on Valentine's Day.
> 
> This drabble has been sitting in my files for more than a year - the whole concept really has been fluctuating a lot through my mind. What can I say? I've had shitty relationships and I like writing angst - this kind of fic was an expected outcome lol. Also, I really wanted to write how Enigma (the Riddler's daughter in the comics) might have been introduced in their lives *shrugs*

_Apnoea_

The root of the problem was that the child was just a newborn, squirming and softly crying in its bundle of soft blankets - pink, presumably standing for its gender but Oswald didn't want to assume.

Afterall, he had presumed that Edward - his husband - had loved and cherished him but there it was the glaring proof that the other man couldn't even be bothered to be faithful to him and, adding insult to injury, he was even being asked to take the baby in and raise it with the same love he had freely poured on Martin.

His husband clearly had conveniently dismissed the little detail that their boy had been adopted, whereas the baby he had brought in their home was the product of an affair - the living and breathing embodiment of a moment when the other man hadn't loved him as strongly as his wedding vows had promised to.

If it had been the matter of only a moment.

Oswald wouldn't have been surprised to discover that Edward had been cheating on him for a long time: he'd never been his husband's first choice, afterall. He couldn't help wondering if Edward would have even bothered coming back home, hadn't his mistress died of childbirth - probably not: the coward would have just sent him the divorce papers without an explanation and a lawyer to discuss visitation rights with Martin.

It wasn't the baby's fault, though, was it?

Oswald gulped down against the thick lump in his throat and he reached out to take the baby from Edward's arms; the infant quieted, clearly soothed by a more confident and less awkward hold "Did the mother choose a name?"

"Enigma"

A fangirl, then.

Edward had cheated on him for the thrill of bedding one of the Riddler's fangirls, so that he could soak in the fanatic adoration that fed his ego and made him feel like a god for a few hours, but that wasn't the fault of the mother either and Oswald wasn't so petty that he wouldn't respect the last wish of a dead woman - especially since he didn't have any claim on her daughter "She needs a more common first name for school and official papers but we can use Enigma as her second one"

"Does that mean we're keeping her?"

Oswald looked down at that small face, still a little scrunched up and squished by birth, and saw the unmistakable profile of his husband's nose amidst a mass of foreign features. Tears welled behind his eyes, making them sting and burn, and he had to furiously bat his lids to keep them from spilling: he wouldn't let Edward see his pain any more, he'd lost that privilege "Yes, we are"

"Oswald, thank you so mu-" Edward frowned when Oswald took a step back, away from his arms - a step that felt like a black hole had opened up between them "Oswald?"

"I want you to move your things out of our bedroom"

In hindsight, he really should have expected Oswald to say those words; he just had been too focused on his daughter - too concerned about the other man kicking the both of them out and leaving him alone to face the impossible task of raising a child on his own. Edward let his arms fall to his sides, shoulders slumping after them as if they had been as heavy as lead "Are we going to divorce?"

Oswald shook his head "I don't want to upset Martin and being married gives us plenty of legal advantages" first and foremost, the inability of being forced to testify against one another in court "But I can't have you in my bed any longer"

"I made a mistake"

"It's not one I can forgive you"

Edward didn't think that Oswald had ever uttered harder words to hear; his husband had forgiven him many things - from something as silly as making origami out of his ledgers when he was bored to the time he had let Martin play in his lab without supervision and their son had ended up with a small chemical burn on the back of his hand - but he had never heard such a sense of resigned finality in the quality of his voice "I'm sorry" it was useless, it wouldn't solve anything, but he had to try.

"You weren't sorry while you cheated on me, Edward"

"I still love you"

Oswald closed his eyes and forced his body to stay relaxed to avoid hurting the little girl in his arms "What was the reason why you did it, then - you couldn't resist the body of a woman? her mindless adoration? the thrill of getting away with it?"

"Oswald..."

"No, I don't actually want to hear it" he could already feel creeping up on him the sense of inadequacy that had haunted him for most of his life, his skin itched with how wrong his body felt around him - as if it was going to come apart at the seams: ugly, fat, undesirable "Let's bring her to meet her big brother"

"What are you going to tell Martin?" If the boy knew he had cheated on Oswald... Edward didn't want to think about how their son would react to that, not when his family was already falling apart around him and crumbled to the ground like a rickety castle of cards.

"That you found her"

"Thank you"

Oswald looked at Edward, wondering about how it was possible that he had let the other man break his heart again "I'm not doing it for you" never again - Oswald would never again do something for the other man.

"I know" Edward's throat tightened, a phantom hand slowly closed around his windpipe and inexorably crushed his voice box, leaving him speechless as he followed Oswald deeper into the house in search of Martin; the corridors dripping with generations of Van Dahls seemed to be closing in on him, their eyes full of judgement and reproach - it made his lungs ache with how difficult breathing was in that moment.

_Why do you have a baby?_

"Your dad found her"

_All alone?_

Oswald nodded "Yes, she has been abandoned" he sat down on the couch next to Martin, so that the boy could look down at her.

_What's her name?_

"We haven't decided yet" Edward forced himself out of his panic to focus on the conversation; he sat down next to Martin's other side, trying to act normal - trying to be as strong as the other man was "Do you have any ideas?"

_She was lucky dad found her._

"She really was"

_So, she needs a lucky name._

"What about Teodóra?"

Absentmindedly, Oswald repeated the name with the correct Hungarian pronunciation; something ugly curled in his belly, roiling thick like food that hadn't sat well and he swallowed down the nausea that threatened to rise up his gorge "God's gift"

_I like it._

"Me too" Edward shot a glance at the other man, subtly twisting his fingers in his sweater when he found that he was unable to read his husband's face: it was pleasantly blank, empty like one of those stoic saints churches were brimming with "What about you, Oswald?"

"Teodóra Enigma" Oswald tried the name on his tongue, rolled it around his mouth to savour it; predictably, the baby didn't move around or gave him any sign that she liked it - that kind of stuff only happened in romance novels or sentimental movies "I think it's going to be perfect"

_Welcome to the family, little sister!_

**Author's Note:**

> I know this isn't everyone's cup of tea but I would really appreciate any feedback ♡


End file.
